EHarmony for Moms

Hello, my name is Megan and I like to go on long trail runs, mountain bike rides, ski, and long tours on my stand up paddle...

Moving is hard.  Moving to a different state is even harder.  Three and a half years ago my husband and I made the decision to uproot our family from Santa Barbara, California to Utah.  It was a great move for my husband’s career and for my family…and at first, not so much for me.  I had just had my third child and was suffering from the baby blues and found myself feeling more lonely then I had ever felt.  I think it was a mix of being cooped up with a newborn and not having very many opportunities to meet other moms to interact with (and let’s not forget the hormones).  At my low, I felt like everyone had a BFF and I didn’t have qualities that other women looked for in a friend.  It was a vicious cycle of self-pity.  I loved being a mom and wife but felt like I didn’t have anything to offer other women.  

My poor husband endured hours of hearing my crying self-pity rants and would always say, “I like hanging out with you babe.” As much as I love my husband, there are things a woman can only experience and gain from an amazing Girls Night Out with like minded friends. As women we just get each other.  I know at this point I sound like a complete loser.  To be honest, I felt that way about myself. Let me preface that I did have a few friends, so you don’t think it was a complete pity party. I know I am not the only one that has experienced this feeling.   

Let me start of by saying that my husband comes up with the most amazing analogies and ideas. My husband’s name is Quinn and in college our friends would call all of his analogies and ideas “Quinnisims.” For example, he has come up with the idea of having a piece of DOVE chocolate attached to every tampon that has the saying inside the chocolate, “Your husband really is a nice guy and thinks you are beautiful.” Brilliant right! So during my year of depression, my husband explained that when he went to lunch with other guys they would always get on the conversation of their wives feeling lonely.  He was shocked that this was a common theme among women. This is when the idea of EHarmony for Moms was created.  A plutonic website designed for women to find other women with the same interests.  Brilliant right! No, there is no such website but it would be killer if there was. So, I was on the search to find my EHarmony for Moms.

When my son Logan was about 6 months, like many moms I was on a quest to lose my baby weight.  I had been back at the gym for 3 months at this point working my butt off.  At the gym I go to there is an indoor track and in the middle of the track is a Crossfit Box.  I spent hours running on the track and snooping the 9am Crossfit class.  The class was stocked with moms all around the same age as me. They would work their butts off then have social time stretching after the workout.  One day, I worked up the nerve to sign up for my first class.  Scared would not even describe how I felt.  Not only of the WOD (workout of the day), but all these moms that had been well seasoned in how to Crossfit, lifting massive weight above their heads and doing a million pull-ups.   I tried to hide in the back to stay hidden from other women.  This obviously didn't make me any happier.  After time, I realized that I had to come out of my shell.

People that know me know that I love all things Lululemon, especially their speed shorts.  So let me draw an analogy: Imagine if you will, that I purchased 50 pairs of Lululemon speed shorts (my husband would kill me) with the expressed purpose of giving them away.  Sounds easy enough, right?  If I just bought the shorts and sat on my butt at home and never reach out, people would never know that I was willing to gift a virtual cornucopia of chick crack.  If you extend yourself to others to let them know of the killer deal, I promise they will be there. My point of this analogy, is just like the free shorts you need to meet people half way so they can see what you have to offer.  This requires YOU getting outside of your comfort zone.  As I reached out and opened myself up to my fellow ladies at my 9 am Crossfit class, lifelong friends were made. When you work that hard next to another mom and then sit and try to talk over the world’s problems (more like, how do you stop yourself from peeing your pants when you jump rope after having 3 children) it becomes one of the best mom therapies out there.  It’s what keeps me coming back for more and more.  Crossfit became my EHarmony for Moms. I am by no means a hard core Crossfitter (at times when the mountains are calling, I become a Crossfit dropout), and get teased a ton for being a runner but I found a community that builds me up every time I walk in. My EHarmony group expanded this summer into creating a mountain biking group once a week.  Another weekly therapy sessions I try to never miss my appointment. I realized I am the happiest when I am active and around others that share similar hobbies and passions.  I think Elle Woods in Legally Blonde said it best, “Exercise gives you endorphin's - - endorphin s make people happy and happy people just don’t shoot their husbands…they just don’t.”  

My whole point of this article is not to tell you that Crossfit will solve all of your problems. Open your eyes to opportunities to meet new people that share similar hobbies. Get outside of your comfort zone. It could be joining a running club, group fitness classes, start a walking group, Crossfitting, joining a spin class, getting a group of ladies to go skiing or go SUPing (bro).  Try something new!!  Find women that have the similar interest and reach out.  Don’t sit around waiting for the doorbell to ring. Go knocking at their door, and if you aren’t welcome go to the next. Sell yourself! You have a lot to offer. Don’t be afraid to be you!!  

I would love to know what your EHarmony for moms has been or will be, please share!  Please follow me on Instagram at Fit_Momtherapy.